


i might not be here forever

by gracezodiac



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mutual Pining, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-30 10:23:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8529379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracezodiac/pseuds/gracezodiac
Summary: The things we never said.





	

**Author's Note:**

> angst november day 11 - letters we never sent/words we never said
> 
> reminder that i'll leave a happy ending in the end notes!!!
> 
> warnings - implied character death (the outcome will be changed if you read the end notes)
> 
> title taken from all i ever wanted by the airborne toxic event
> 
> please leave comments if you can, and i hope you enjoy!

“Lord Ren. Welcome to the Finalizer.” _The mask is unexpected._

 

“General Hux. Supreme Leader requests a meeting with us immediately.” _You're younger than I thought you'd be._

 

“The communication chamber is already set up.” _Are you human?_

 

“Then we should go. It would be unwise to leave him waiting.” _I can see why he chose you._

 

*

 

“You cannot take an unsanctioned shuttle, a battalion of 'troopers and travel down to the planet's surface without alerting me.” _Your magic does not make you special._

 

“I eliminated the threat. Do you have a problem General?” _I did this for you._

 

“Don't do it again.” _I've sacrificed more than you can imagine to get here. Do not cross me._

 

*

 

“ Lord Ren- Oh, I didn't realise you were...” _You're human._

 

“It doesn't matter.” _You can't see me like this, you'll figure it all out._

 

“Very well. Supreme Leader has called for a meeting.” _Why do you hide your face? There's nothing wrong with you._

 

“I know. I felt it.” _I'm not good enough for you like this._

 

“Of course you did. Are you coming?” _Oh Ren... That's why._

 

“Lead the way.” _Don't... Please don't._

 

*

 

“No no, look at me.” _I want to see everything you're feeling._

 

“Hux...” _I need you._

 

“That's it, you're doing so good.” _You are breath-taking._

 

“I can't...” _Catch me._

 

“It's alright.” _I don't know how to be kind to you._

 

“I'm gonna...” _Please Hux._

 

“Do it. I've got you.” _I'm sorry._

 

*

 

“Meet me in my quarters at the start of graveyard shift.” _Why are we doing this?_

 

“How would you have me?” _I'd do anything for you._

 

“As normal. I have plans.” _I'm being selfish._

 

“Until then.” _I just want to be close to you._

 

*

 

“We have to stop this.” _Before it goes too far._

 

“Stop what?” _Don't do this._

 

“Don't be obtuse. You know what.” _It's not safe._

 

“Too much emotion for you, was it? Couldn't bear to let that cold facade slip for just a second?” _I know you're scared. So am I. It doesn't have to be like this._

 

“This was never anything more than sex, stop being melodramatic.” _I can't be what you need me to be._

 

“Fuck you.” _I think I love you._

 

“Good day Lord Ren.” _I could have loved you._

 

_*_

 

“Careful Ren, that your personal interests not interfere with orders from Leader Snoke.” _You're going to destroy yourself. Stay safe._

 

“I want that map. For your sake... I suggest you get it.” _You made it clear you don't care about me. Don't keep up the pretence now._

 

*

 

“Where am I?” _Everything hurts._

 

“The Finalizer. You had to be sedated so they could tend to you and stop you from bleeding out.” _You foolish, foolish man._

 

“I killed him...” _It hurts so much Hux, the Light won't go away._

 

“Don't think about it. Rest. You'll need your strength.” _I can feel it. I'm sorry._

 

*

  
“Supreme Leader has asked for you to take a shuttle down to the planet, alone. There's one already prepared in the hanger.” _I did everything I could._

 

“Then I am to presume this is goodbye?” _He's going to kill me. I won't come back to you._

 

“You presume correctly.” _I know._

 

“Until next time.” _I never stopped loving you._

 

“May the Force be with you.” _Goodbye Ren._

 

**Author's Note:**

> hux receives word back from ren a month later: snoke is dead
> 
> hux says a word to no one. when ren returns, hux is immediately pulling him into his chambers to 'debrief'. he asks him what the hell happened, and ren explains that sonke tried to force the light out of him but it wouldn't work. when snoke threathed to kill him, ren took him out instead
> 
> suddenly realising just how relieved he is that ren's alive, he surges forward and kisses him. ren is very surprised, but kisses back. ren explains that its safe for them now, that he knows hux was afraid of letting himself feeling, and how snoke would react. but they don't have to worry about him anymore. ren knows how to control the light and the dark and he wants hux to let himself do this, to once have something for himself
> 
> hux answers by kissing him again
> 
> (this is every kylux cliche in the book i'm so sorry.)
> 
> (i know there's some days i'm missing, but i'm writing them up, hopefully i'll post them soon. i hope everyone is taking care, and as always you can find me at [skywalkeraesthetics](http://www.skywalkeraesthetics.tumblr.com))


End file.
